Stones Fire

I never had a girlfriend. It was hard for me to find one. I don’t know why. I think I’m attractive but in school, I have this notorious popularity of wearing only white t-shirts and blue jeans all the time. I felt it was very comfortable. But many thought, I always wear the same thing clothing every day. Then the idea dawned to me: funny t shirts.

They perceived me as smelly but nice-looking. That’s really awful. Is this the price I have to pay for not being fashionable? I have to change daily get up. But I still want to wear t-shirts. I don’t want to move out from my comfort zone totally. It’s like changing me.

I thought: what could be a better way to spice up my life? By wearing funny shirts, that is the answer! This has to be the coolest idea I have ever imagined to get a girlfriend. I asked some of my friends about websites that sell unique shirts and one of my friends recommended this cool site. I ordered and it was delivered on time. I wore five different shirts for a week. I was the talk of the town. And at the end of the month, I saw a note on my locker saying: “You’re funny shirts got me. Please call me ………. Linda” And I got myself the captain of the cheerleading team of our school. Nice move!

I wanted to design funny t shirts for my son’s first grade class to have the class sign and then they would have a memento from that year. I started the search at a local department store to see if they would give me a discount if I bought a big quantity of one of their funny shirts. They told me that they could not do that. The cost would have been outrageous to use them without a discount.

I then turned to the internet, which of course has everything you want and more. I found a few sites that would let me design my own funny t shirts, and that I thought would be too cool. I picked the one that had good reviews from past clients and then was stopped dead in my tracks trying to think of something funny to put on the funny t shirts. I usually have no problem thinking of stuff like that, but I do not perform well under pressure. I collaborated with a few other moms and we came up with something pretty quickly to put on the kids shirts. We found out everyone’s size and ordered them for the last day of school.

The kids loved their funny shirts and we gave them markers, so they could write their names on each other’s shirts. It was so cute.

I have always been a big fan of people who do not mind expressing themselves. So, when I saw these guys at the game last week wearing cool offensive t shirts, I went up to tell them that I liked their shirts. They laughed and said that usually they get some dirty looks if they wear their offensive t shirts anywhere but at the bar. I explained to them that I admire people who are willing to be different and they were defiantly setting themselves apart from everyone else tonight.

I asked them where they got their funny shirts and they told me all about this really cool website that has hundreds of funny shirts designs. The website adds new designs all the time and they are constantly checking it out to order the newest ones. I wrote down the name of the site and told the guys to have a good time.

I contacted the owner of the funny shirts site that sold the offensive t shirts that the guys were wearing at the game and made him an offer that he could not refuse. I bought his company and kept him on to continue to put out some of the best t shirts that I have ever seen.

When my daughter wanted to design funny t shirts at her slumber party with all of her friends, I got all of the supplies that I think she would need. I picked up a bunch of t shirts that were all the same color and all the same size. I was not sure if they would want to paint them or use magic markers so I got both.

In addition to that, I got iron on appliqués to apply to the funny t shirts. I got all sorts of funny faces and animals for them to choose from. For the girls that wanted to do some more mature t shirts, I got rhinestones to embellish their designs.

They had such a great time making their funny shirts that this will be a tradition at slumber parties from now on. I made sure that all the girls took home specific instructions on how to wash their very creative fancy funny t shirts. They all had to be turned inside out and washed in cold water and then air dried.

My daughter and her friends chose a day and all wore their funny t shirts to school on the same day. All of the other kids thought that their t shirts were very cool.

My buddy Jim wears some pretty crazy adult t shirts. My wife will never let him in the door if he has one on. Our daughter is six and is just starting to read. Most of the adult t shirts that Jim wears have profanity on them, or some sort of vulgar saying or picture. I remember wearing stuff like that back when we were in college but since I have gotten married and had a kid, I try to stay away from those kinds of t shirts.

Jim still lives with his parents and even though he has a business major, he works at the local convenience store stocking shelves. He has told me that he is not interested in growing up and he only went to college to have a good time. I am not sure where he gets his funny t shirts now, when we were in school, we would get them at the local print shop that catered to all the college students.

I really like my buddy Jim and have mentioned to him that he should start his own adult t shirt business but he just laughs and changes the subject.

I am hoping that he grows up soon, or one of these days my wife will forbid him to ever come to our house. I think my six year old daughter is more responsible than he is.

I was hoping for a new cell phone for my birthday, but my parents got me some crazy t shirts instead. I was really ticked that they did not listen to me, and get me what I wanted. I liked the crazy t shirts, but I had really wanted a new phone. My old one is all beat up, from throwing it in my book bag every day.

I decided to wear the cool t shirts to school and see if anyone commented on them. I was shocked at all the attention I got from some really hot girls, just because of some cool t shirt. Maybe my parents did know what they were doing when they gave me these crazy t shirts. I had three dates coming up, and each girl asked me to wear the cool t shirt when we went out. I had to please them, so I did.

I told my mom that I think the cool t shirts got me the dates, and she told me that there was no way that someone would go out with me just because of a crazy t shirt. Now, my dad told me that whatever works to get a date, you should do it.

I ended up getting the cell phone about a week later, they had ordered it but it came in late so they gave me the t shirts in place of it until it got here.

I wanted to sound like I knew what I was talking about with my boyfriend and his very smart friends so I started searching online about all the new things you could upgrade your computer system with. I first just read a bunch of forums and started to write down words like Cat 5E Keystone jacks and HDMI switches. I then put them both into the search bar separately and read all night about the two subjects. At lunch the next day, they were talking about things that I could not understand but I interrupted them and told them that I had ordered two HDMI switches, one for me and one for my boyfriend. They laughed when he told me that we already had HDMI switches on our computers. I did not know that but then informed them that I thought we should put cat5e Keystone jacks in our loft. They then told me that we already had cat 6 Keystone jacks throughout our entire apartment building. They told me that they appreciated what I was trying to do by learning all about what they love so much. They agreed to talk about things that I understood and I agreed to not try and learn computer lingo.